


Please Don't

by ButterpuffFairy



Category: X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Comfort, Gen, Hurt, Protection, urequited love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 13:45:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12343875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButterpuffFairy/pseuds/ButterpuffFairy
Summary: A shattered heart can mend, but what about the memories that are left?If you leave someone behind due to keeping them safe is it an act of heroism or cowardice?After and encounter between Azazel and Raven, she goes to old partner for company...but is it more...or is it more painful than her last?





	Please Don't

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Suicide

A melancholy calm swept over her as she sat alone, the delapidated church serving as a morbidly beautiful metaphor for not just her body but her mind as well- Something once so pure, innocent and positive that was now something unfortunate, negative and completely beyond repair. 

The rain falling outside didn't help anything as it leaked through the roof and pooled on the floor that was once desecrated by the very actions that shaped her heart and broke it soon afterward; now it was cracked, dust covered and vines crept in, threatening to over take it entirely much like the thoughts that crept into her head when she wasn't occupied, when blood wasn't spilling around her, when she wasn't recieving orders or perhaps giving them.   
She had taken to recruiting others in an attempt to save them from the life she had once had to live, but was that even right?   
She questioned everything and trusted no one...not even herself.   
Wars had raged on, men and women alike had swapped sides so many times that she wasn't even sure which one she agreed with. Though when she did find someone she agreed with, that she followed, she easily bled for them in order to prove loyalty.   
But even that was tainted with his memory.  
Was she wanting to be loyal or was she wanting someone to need her?  
It was unclear.

Germany was a beautiful place.  
Perhaps she felt truely at peace here because of what happened, because this was where Mystique was born and murdered in one fell swoop...

Because this was the place where she desperately tried to find a reason to blame him, but over time that was fading.  
He had to go. He was trying to keep her safe and she knew this entirely, but she was so uncomfortable with that fact that she'd lost control that she craved blaming herself- that she could deal with...but dealing with that fact that she'd loved so hard and lost?  
It felt like living death...  
Not even that.  
Death felt sweet. Death felt calm...but she was never granted that blessing no matter how hard she tried. Though, in honesty, it was difficult to remember the moments of calm before she awoke gasping for air, alive in this hell once again.  
One time, though, she swore she had heard the most agonizing roar; one no one could imagine, one that could only belong...to...

Ah, but what sentiment that would mean.  
She'd rather think it was what she wanted, and not something that happened in all actuality as that would mean that the 'simple afflictions of the heart' were more than both of them could manage.

A stiffled scream of agony escaped her as she covered her mouth, shaking, as tears fell to the floor. 

When most saw the devil, she saw so much more...So much more.

His hands were heaven; one touch made her sigh with lust.  
His eyes were an ocean; and she got lost every time- and then the times when they were pure obsidian? They captivated her and lured her into their darkness and held her.  
His voice was velvet; One word and she was ready to fight...or ready to die.   
His lies...But he never lied, did he. No. He never promised love, he never promised to stay, but his eyes spoke differently in the times they had met since.   
Guilt. Love. Pain.   
So many things that swam through the ocean she inhabited so freely when he locked eyes with hers.

"You're a creature of habit, my dear."

Raven didn't even move, her eyes locked on the floor as a velvet voice echoed through the pews. Her hands clasped in her lap as if in silent prayer.

"Always returning to the scene of the crime." He said with a smirk, approaching her as tail flicked in amusment. But upon seeing her in a better light, the devil froze.   
Her shoulders were slumped, her head was bowed toward the floor...normally he heard her when she prayed, though he was unaware if she knew this or not.   
"...Dare you ignore your King?"  
He had to get her to speak.  
He'd rather see her angry than to see her like this.  
But his voice faultered.   
"Im not in the mood for this Azazel...Draco..." Raven said softly, wringing her hands as she spoke. " I only came here for one thing...and here you are."

He didn't like this.   
His tail sank to the floor in heartache seeing her this way- all fight gone, all regal power drained from her very soul.  
"...and here I am."

Looking up at him finally, she stood and smiled softly, though it didn't reach her eyes. She didn't speak as she approached him, she merely walked to him and stood in silence; inches from him, looking up at her king, the man she loved.

"Im sorry."

The Devil felt as if all oxygen had been taken from him and his chest burned, his eyes widened in shock as he looked down at the small woman in front of him-  
She was too small...  
Had she been eating?  
"...I...don't understa-"

"All this time I thought everything was your fault." Raven began, her eyes drifting to look past him, through him, lost in her thoughts entirely. "But I was the one who felt it possible for me to be loved, for me to not corrupt something so ...perfect. I did something horrible...I made you love..."

"Rav-"

"Please don't. " She cried, shaking her head and turning away from him. Walking up to the altar and looking up to the crusifix that hung above it.   
"...I'm damned...Cursed...I tainted even the devil himself to the point where he'd come if I beckoned. You'd never have such a tie to this world if it weren't for me and you wouldn't have as many people after you, thats for damn sure."

Stepping forward slightly, his brows knitted in concern, he reached for her gently but he hesitated... She was so precious...so fragile...Every time he touched her, he felt he broke her more.  
"My queen..."

"Our son is dead."

Azazel froze. His eyes going from solid black to moderately human as he nodded and looked away, bringing his hands back to him in nervousness- forfinger, pointer and thumbs together in a triangle while the others were tucked in. A nervous habit.  
"Im aware."

"He died for love." Raven snorted in disgust, staring up at the figure on the cross. "He jumped in front of a girl and..." she choked up and looked away.  
"Did he not understand that love can't befall a monster like me, so how the hell could it ever mean well for a beautiful being like him?"

In a moment she was turned around, a hand gripped her arm roughly as claws threatened to dig into her skin. Black eyes were inches from her face as The Devil snarled in anger:  
"Do not call yourself a monster. You are magnificent..."

But Raven merely stared at him with saddened eyes. No shock, no fear, no concern...she just locked eyes with him and sighed softly, feigning a smile that didn't fully reach her features.  
"No...I'm not." 

Silence fell around them and he just stared at her in shock. He'd never felt something of this magnitude, he was unsure how to deal with it, how to express it.   
"What have I done...?" He whispered, half unaware it had even been audible as he ran his fingers through her long red hair. "What have I done to you?"

"My king...you made me." Raven cried softly, placing her hand on his cheek. "You've done nothing-"

"I left"

"Not of your own volition."

"When did you stop blaming me? Im not quite sure I like it-"

"When I realized you're the only one I've ever loved."

Silence.  
Draco smiled and pulled her to him, kissing her forhead and resting his chin atop her head.   
"Then I have truely done something horrible to you.." He said softly, though a low purr sounded as his tail flicked contently.   
Though he felt her shake.  
Was she crying?

"What have we done?" Raven cried, gripping his shirt as tightly as she could. "I've pulled you from everything you knew, everything you were comfortable in, everything that needed you...and now your misery becomes you as you want something that maybe never should have been in the first place. You deserve a queen, god you deserve everything, and you enticed the common whore."

"I don't like that term. I much prefer siren...more accurately, my Lilith." He hummed, desperate to either get her pissed or smiling.

"I can't do this..."

He didn't know what to do. His heart ached, but he was entirely unsure how to handle this situation.   
"I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be."

"You don't need to be obligated to come back to me."

"Im no-"

"Of course you are. I mothered a child with you, of course you're fucking obligated."

"I didn't stay with the others...something must make you different."

Raven froze, looking up at him in fear as she took a few steps back. The devil himself was expecting to be hit, hell, he wanted it. He wanted her to be angry because at least it would get her out of this sorrow. But instead, she looked even more heartbroken if that was entirely possible.   
Sometimes he wondered why he spoke.

"Oh god...You really do love me." Tears were rolling down her cheeks and she was shaking like a leaf.   
She looked so scared. So human, though her beautiful blue form was still in effect.  
"Please...Please don't...Please don't love me..."

Draco was a warrior, a fighter, a king, and many other things that gave him the titles and scars that he wore with pride. He'd seen wars that lasted decades, lifetimes even, and he'd seen them between brethren and sheer sworn enemy. There were times he'd been beaten, bruised, burned, torn into, bitten, clawed at, and he'd suffered one hell of a fall...  
But this was the most intense pain he'd ever felt in his life.  
The devil physically staggered back, as if he'd been shot, and looked at her with pained greenish blue eyes. 

Raven fell to her knees, tears rolling down her cheeks and hitting the floor as a pop was heard, the smell of sulfer englufed the room, and he was gone.  
What was unknown to her, was the hell that raged when he returned to his domain...no one had ever hear such a pained roar...except perhaps the queen that remained on earth, in that church.

\---

It wasn't every night that he opened the door to his room and found a female asleep in his bed, especially when she hadn't been there when he'd left to do work in his study.  
Tapping the side of the glass in his hand with his forfinger, he blinked rapidly in exasperation and moved toward the bed- he wasn't afraid, as typically anything that tried to attack him was going to have a bad night- but this was quite odd.

With the drink sat on the nightstand, he gently moved the covered to see red hair and pale blue skin.  
He held his breath for a moment, but smiled softly. It had been a while since he'd seen her- though it wasn't the first time she'd snuck into his place, but he could never turn her away no matter how rough their last encounter had been.

"Sebastian?"   
Raven said softly, waking and shifting slightly, but not fully opening her eyes or making an effort to fully be conscious. 

"The fact that you continue to randomly appear in my place, clearly says something about my security measures." Shaw said with a smirk, brushing her haid from her face, revealing her smeared makeup that ran down her cheeks and clouded around her eyes.  
She'd been crying.   
For someone who tried to not get attached easily, there was something that she held over him that made him concerned for her. Perhaps it was the way they had both been through a similar life or the fact that they had similiar ideals and work ethics...or perhaps it was the fact that they wanted so desperately to be accepted, to care for someone and be cared for in return. She was so beautifully broken and one of the strongest women he'd ever met.   
Truely a treasure.

" 'ts easy when I can turn into you and get by everything." Raven replied, smirking to herself, humming softly as she felt his touch. He could calm her so easily.

"Ah, yes, that would be a problem wouldn't-" Shaw then froze and quirked his brow in concern; "And how often do you turn into me?"

"Only when I miss you~"

"That often?" He sassed, though it was short lived as he moved her hair from the side of her head to find caked blood... Had she been shot?   
His senses went into overdrive and he froze, glancing over every part of her that he could see- he knew if he moved her in any way he risked making this worse either by making her blood pressure change or making her fight him to stop...she was a stubborn thing.   
Her healing factor was great, he'd found this out on accident and no tby his hand, thankfully, but he'd never forget himself for getting her invovled in that cross-fire. However, being shot in the head was something even she'd have issues dealing with-  
Which brought the question; How long had she been here?  
Said a lot about how well he kept up with time when he was a lone and working in his office.   
Back to the matter at hand-

Hands.

He quickly glanced over her for bruises, markings, signs of a struggle...

Suddenly, he felt his stomach drop as a thought crossed his mind.  
Moving her hair again, as if petting it gently, he found his answer...burns. 

Self inflicted.

The energy in the room hummed and he quickly pulled his hand away from her.

"...you'd never hurt me..." Raven said softly, her eyes still closed as she lay comfortably as if nothing had happened.

"...Not...Not on purpose..." Shaw choked out, staring at her in panic and concern. She'd done this? Why?...Who??...

Moving quietly, he grabbed a few things and returned to her, gently starting to clean the wound without saying a word.

"You don't have to-O W"

He couldn't help but smirk in amusement, that was one way to get hre to stop talking. Though he really shouldn't find happiness in such things, but then again...  
"Don't sass a doctor when they're trying to help you, dear."

"Do you even still have your medical liscense?"

"I take offense to that. I never did anything to lose it."

"You never got caught, you mean."

"No, I got caught several times-"

"Its just a shame the witness are no longer with us??"

She finally looked up at him with a soft smile and bright golden eyes, and though his eyes were like ice, he was still obviously amused at her banter- perhaps a bit relieved as well. Their eyes locked and they both froze, both trying to stiffle feelings they both regretted.

"Raven-"

"Please don't ask me. "

"I wasn't." He said, continuing to clean her wound though he was now being much more gentle since he had her attention. "Not about this, I've seen many a wound like this in my lifetime and Im sure it won't be my last- but it damn sure better be my last time seeing it on you."

Raven flushed lightly and looked away, half ashamed of her actions and half embarrased he cared so much.

"I was going to ask you why you came to me." He continued, watching her closely to gauge her reaction, as he always did.

"Because I feel safe with you...Because I know that I didn't ruin you, not yet, and if it ever got to that point? You're one of the only ones that could kill me to where I wouldn't come back."

That most definitely was not the answer he wanted, maybe the first part of it but even then he felt like he shouldn't be as happy as he was that he made her feel safe.   
But the latter?  
That killed him.

"You know I would never-"

"You don't know that."

"Raven, I don't make promises, you know this, but I speak the truth. You've never given me a reason to hurt you. We don't hurt our own kind."

"Thats bullshit." Raven scoffed, shaking her head and looking back up at him, moving slightly, gently, to where she could see him better. " We hurt our own kind every day and you know thats not what this is about."

"Then enlighten me." He said in mild annoyance, his forfinger tapping his leg twice, a common warning.

"I've lost everything...I'm so lost...Everything I touch turns to ashes and I ...I fear I've touched you too much, but at the same time I know you wouldn't let me hurt you." Raven began; "You're the only one who understands the storm in me...I've lost my son, I've lost everything, I've taken a man who was once a powerful warrior and drug him into a world where Im his weakness and I can't take this. You have no weaknesses, you don't let yourself have them and I envy you for that. I know I can't die unless under extreme circumstances but I just needed peace if only for a moment..."

Shaw stared at her, unsure what to say, what to convey or what to do.  
He had weaknesses; one was sitting in front of him and the other was halfway across the world with an idiot he'd honestly like to set on fire.   
If only the beauty before him knew that she could easily be his undoing...she'd never come back, and he knew that good and well.

"My condolances...I was unaware you had suffered such a loss." He said, putting the supplies to the side and putting his hand on hers. " But I assure you, I have my undoings."

She shook her head slightly, looking up at him with a small smile as she placed her other hand atop his.  
"A man like you is a god among insects...don't claim such things."

He really wished she wouldn't do that.   
Not because he didn't care for it, but because he really did. 

"You don't need to sink to such flattery to assure your place here, you can stay as long as you like." He teased with a smirk, gently carressing her cheek with his free hand. "Though, the flattery is appreciated."

"Its not flattery, its the truth...and I planned on staying anyways."

He smiled and his eyes lit up happily, though he tried to hide it.  
"Wonderful." He then cleared his throat and moved to get up. "I'll let you rest, you've had a rough day it would seem. Is there anything I can do to help ease your pain?"

"...please don't leave...?"

Shaw froze and looked at her, golden eyes pleading with him as tears welled. With a sigh, he moved under the covers and pulled her to him, her head resting on his chest as she cried softly while he petted her hair and hushed her gently, attempting to calm her thoughts- though he knew it may all be in vain.  
Raven had always been a beautifully shattered indevidual that he was desperate to put back together. But how could he fix someone already so broken?

Please don't leave.  
Words that echoed in his thoughts long after she fell asleep on him.  
He'd never left. Not once...and he'd be an idiot to let her go...again. He regretted it each time it happened, as each time it happened it was because they got closer and closer.   
No words had ever been spoken, not entirely, but strong hints and feelings had been shown that would suggest a deep connection was felt between them both.   
What had they done?  
What had they done...

\---

Hours had passed and he woke first, checked on her healing and then went downstairs to his study.  
She was healing rather well but it would still take time for her to fully be okay again, both mentally and physically. However, it was rather impressive that she healed from something of that magnitude, though it must also be agonizing; to want so desperately to be free of the pain this life had caused her but to not truely be able to achieve it.

Shutting the door, and making his way to his desk, Shaw felt a presence in the room and titled his head, slowly turning to look at the figure that stood in the farthest corner:  
"I would suggest not sneaking up on me...then again, from what I've heard about you, you don't listen well."

"And from what I've heard about you, you've got too mch of an ego to care what I saw or do in return." Draco said, smirking and stepping out of the shadows, gold eyes trained on the man who stood before him. "You've taken to my Queen rather well...she plays rather nice when she's around you, I'd say she thinks you weak."

"She calls me godly."

"And yet god has beings fight his battles for him, never shows his face, never gets is own hands dirty and yet he takes glory for all he does and no blame for the horrors this world has to offer..no, no thats all my doing..." The devil then tilted his head as well, his tail flicking in amusement. "Then again, maybe that title does fit you."

Shaw inahled deeply, holding it for a few seconds and then exhaling. His fingers lightly tapping the desk and his eyes locked on Azazel as he desperately tried to keep his composure.  
"Lucky for the both of us, I've never been religious."

"Raven is...but it comes and goes-"

"Like you?" Shaw sassed, quirking a brow and standing tall, clearly not afraid of the devil before him. "So I've heard. You seem to leave her in more pieces every time you leave her, like shards of glass-"

"Ahh, is that why you prefer diamond?"  
The room went silent. Cold.   
Steely eyes glowed lightly in anger but Draco enjoyed seeing he was so easy to manipulate. 

"If I prefered that, I wouldn't be alone here now would I?" The other replied bitterly, moving to pour himself a drink. "The only person keeping you from your so called queen, is you."

"Im aware." Azazel replied, nodding slightly as he looked around the study. "She deserves better."

"And who are you to decide who she wants and what she deserves?" Shaw said, turning and facing the demon once again. "You do not make her choices for her, you don't have the right to put words in her mouth nor do you have to right to manipulate what she does and does not want. Granted, I think she does deserve better than you-"

"And you're it?"

"I damn sure wouldn't leave a woman, a queen, if I knew she loved me the way that woman upstairs loves you."

"Ahh because that worked out so well for you last time. The last Queen you reared is miles away in another mans arms, going insane while her mind slowly eats her alive."

"I rather enjoy how you glance over anything I say about Raven because you know its right and you can't stand that she feels comfortable enough to tell me things-"

"Oh? And what does she tell you?"

" 'Don't confuse passion with affliction of the heart for the devil is kind for neither.' "

Azazel froze and his eyes went from solid black to the humanesque blue/green. He felt sick. Images flashed through his head of her standing before him on that ciff in that white dress...she looked so beautiful and so ...scared. The mother of his child, the one woman who held his heart and in that moment he tore her to pieces.

" That memory haunts her, and makes her sick." Shaw continued; " Do you know how many nightmares I've calmed because of you? Hell, I'm not the only one who's had to hold her at night when she wakes feeling alone, when she wakes crying, when she realizes she's getting too attached and leaves..." He took a deep breath, calming himself, cracked his neck, and exhaled.  
" You're here for a reason. State it an leave."

Draco growled lowly at being ordered around, then looked up at the ceiling in caution, knowing if she heard him it would be game over for all parties invovled.  
"I came here for one simple reason;" He said softly, approaching the other and not really caring much for personal space.  
"She loves you, but don't get cocky. You break her heart, and you won't be able to absorb everything I'll throw at you..."

"I don't take well to threats, but I assure you I would never hurt her-"

"Of course you would. Let the white queens heels darken these halls...you'd be in for one hell of a night at sea trying to decide which queen suited your ill fitted throne and Raven knows it." Draco said with a smirk. "I don't want you to fight that, I care not for your justification. For whatever reason, Raven trusts you with her heart but that does not mean that I do."

A silence befell the room, a deafening one. They were locked on each other, both wanting the other to leave, but they knew that the woman upstairs would have their heads if they faught here and now. So, The Devil, having the last word turned and began to walk off, preparing to open his portal and depart from this world

"You're a coward for doing this." Shaw called, physically in capable of not responding to the argument at hand.

He looked over his shoulder, his tail flicking in irritation.  
"How am I a coward for saving her?"

"Because she wasn't dying until you left."

The devil turned and fully locked eyes with Shaw again, who simply smiled and raised his glass slightly, as if in toast as he then took a sip with a dark, cold look in his eye.   
He'd won this argument. There was nothing the beast before him could physically say to combat it.

With a puff of smoke, he was gone, and the doctor was left in peace- though his mind roared with what had transpired on this stormy night. The beautiful being in his bed, the devil that had appeared to him and now the dark waters of his mind crashed and threatened to drown all logic that once would have come to him so easily.   
A siren from the depths she truely was, but she never had to lure him, he always went of his own free will...he wasn't sure which was more terrifying to think about- the fact that she could manipulate him or the fact that she didn't have to.

Never the less, one thing was certain:  
He'd never hurt her.


End file.
